Time for a new pediatrician

"We need to start treating him like he's a real human." Yeah, that's what she tells us. In a condescending tone, too. Our doctor - who has only seen Enzo once before since she's been out on medical disability - has got to go.

We took him in since he has been on a hunger strike for a few days and won't eat his cereal and seems distracted while nursing. His teething has been accompanied by a mild fever, rash, and runny nose. But his temperment has been fine.

"Would you like peas in YOUR oatmeal?" she asks. "No wonder he has grown so frustrated. I wouldn't eat it either." OK, I'm a moron, I guess. She looks at us rookies with such disdain. Well, the yahoo doctor who we've seen in her absence, who refers to me as "Mama," told me to add a fruit or vegetable into the cereal, and that it was fine to go on to oatmeal and mixed grains. Apparently, that was wrong. No grains until he's 12 months. How the hell am I supposed to know? I was just doing what she told me to do. Enzo probably hates me.

The rash (with little white pimples in the folds of his neck and what I thought was an intolerance to wheat) was dry skin. "Johnson's baby lotion smells nice but is way too mild." Okay...

The fever and runny nose is normal for a teething baby. Yes, I knew that from my research. I'm not an idiot.

She gives us a hand-out on what foods we should have been feeding a 6-9 month old. Thanks. That would have been nice when he was 6 months old. Frozen yogurt. Cottage cheese. Graham crackers. And even more foods for 9-12 months old. Oh my -- look out, my little love -- there's more to life than peas mixed in with rice. Please don't hate me for feeding you crap.

I need a referal to a doctor who shows up to work consistently, is sorta nice, and doesn't assume I know what I'm doing. And a doctor who actually distributes her cute little hand-outs.