Back to work

Week one - done. It actually wasn't quite as bad as I thought. I, of course, had been anticipating/dreading/feeling nervous for this for the past 16 weeks (the length of my maternity leave), but it was actually kind of nice to be back in an adult world. It was actually kind of nice to be able to focus on something for more than 20 minutes. I composed letters, returned phone calls, put out a few fires, was consulted about pressing matters, and asked for my opinions. Whoah - I still got it!

I did, however, sob on Tuesday night thinking about being away from Enzo for 12 hours. And I teared up only once during the first day at work on Wednesday. I did better than expected. I also became part of a club I never knew existed. People started talking to me about their kids, and the day they returned to work. And how difficult it was and still is. I keep telling myself that it will get easier -- and they say that it really doesn't. The day to day experience of leaving your child behind gets a bit easier, but the longing feeling of being apart never does. Not even when you drop them off for the first day of high school. At least I have 13 more years to prepare and worry about that.

The guilty feeling of leaving Enzo at home was made a little easier to manage because of two things. I got a text from Nancy titled "Tummy time before his nap" and an adorable pic of Enzo strengthening his neck and arms and playing on his tummy. The second thing that got me through the day was the fact that I get to spend the whole next day with him. I'll be working in the office M/W/F and from home a few hours on T/Th.

There was a huge welcome back poster on my office window, signed by all the great people I work with who apparently missed me. There was a decadent chocolate cake cut in my honor at my department staff meeting. And lots of hugs.

Thanks, I needed that.